


Willamina

by maryperk



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: BtVS 4, F/M, Magical Crossdressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 04:26:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2454659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maryperk/pseuds/maryperk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel asks Buffy to Los Angeles to meet his new girlfriend Kate.  See what happens when Spike helps Buffy with a little revenge.  Written for 10yearsofbtvs LJ.  Set in a slightly AU season 4</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Buffy sat sipping her water-logged Diet Coke. Her slayer senses itched from all of the surrounding demons. She had no idea why Angel felt the need to introduce her to his new girlfriend and bring them to a demon nightclub. Not that there was anything wrong with the woman, mind you. Kate Lockley was beautiful, capable and smart. It was just that after Buffy's breakup with Angel, and his insistence they couldn't be together because of his curse, it chafed Buffy's hide that he had found someone new. All she had come across in the search for a new boyfriend were asses like Parker and that Initiative dweeb Riley.

Buffy smiled at Cordelia and Doyle while she waved them towards the dance floor. No point in anyone else feeling as melancholy as she felt. Buffy tilted her head while she scanned the nightclub. Something, or rather somone, had just popped up on her radar; a very familiar someone. Her eyes settled on an attractive woman dressed in a striped skirt, pink halter top, and strappy pumps. The look was topped off with artfully applied makeup and long platinum blond hair. The Slayer's eyes widened when she locked eyes with the woman. _Oh God, this is too good to be true,_ Buffy stifled a chuckle.

"Be right back. I just spotted an old friend," Buffy announced to Angel and Kate.

"Sure," Angel answered absentmindedly. His attention was firmly placed on Kate, and he didn't notice his ex-girlfriend even leave the table.

Buffy stood up, and she made her way across the nightclub. She stopped in front of the woman's table. "Long time, no see, _Willamina._ "

"Sit down and shut up, Slayer," Spike grunted. He had seen the petite blond enter the club with Angel and his crew. Spike was surprised by the shot of white-hot jealousy that crawled through his body at the sight. He reached out to grab Buffy's arm, and he dragged her down onto the bench seat beside him.

"Thought you went back to South America to torture your way back into the ho's good graces." Buffy shivered when Spike caressed her arm with his cool fingers.

"Got here to the City of Angels, and I decided I had more dignity than that." The vampire lifted his eyes towards the ceiling. "So, you like my club, Slayer?"

"It's very nice," Buffy replied politely. Her eyes found Angel as he whispered something into a giggling Kate's ear. "Kinda makes the Slayer radar wig out though."

"So, looks like Peaches is showin' off the new main squeeze."

"So, looks like you're a transvestite now." Buffy shot the comment back at him. Angel's new girlfriend was a sore point for her. Buffy looked the vampire up and down before she continued cheekily. "Gotta say, you're one hot lookin' chick."

"No, you silly bint," Spike muttered. "Bartender over there bet me I couldn't get a chick's number dressed as a woman. I couldn't pick just any woman either. It had to be a decidedly hetrosexual woman."

Buffy studied Spike for a few minutes. He _had_ helped her with Angelus, and he _had_ helped when she tried to hide her identity from her mom by confirming the band lie. Buffy made a quick decision from her gut. "I'll help you if you help me," she announced.

"What do you have in mind, Slayer?" Spike shifted in his seat. He stared at the blond girl as if she was talking in a foreign language.

"Well, I'm 'decidedly heterosexual'. We'll point Angel out to the bartender, let him know I had sex with him, and then I give him my phone number. You win your bet."

"What do I have to do?" Spike narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 

"Well, what would Angel think if I suddenly began to hit on a woman?"

"Knowing Angelus, he'd think you're fuckin' cracked," Spike smirked. He chuckled at the thought of Angel's eyes bugging out at the 'sweet, innocent' Slayer doing something nasty. "Oh, you're an evil, little Slayer, aren't you?"

"I'm pissed off, and I'm bored. Not a good combo, if you get my drift." Buffy scrunched up her nose. "You were right with what you said before. He's showing off his new girlfriend. She's sweet, normal and a cop, for God's sake." She growled low in her chest. "If he can be with one human, why couldn't he be with me?"

"Settle down, luv." Spike reached over to cover one of Buffy's hands with his own. "Both Deke and Angel are looking right now. Let's make this good."

Before Buffy could react, the blond vampire bombshell swooped in for a kiss. She put her hands up to ward him off, and she came into contact with his full, female breasts. _Damn, those feel real,_ Buffy thought fuzzily. Her brain had gone haywire under the onslaught of Spike's cool lips and tongue.

"It's a spell," Spike groaned into Buffy's ear. "Rub the nipples, luv."

Buffy squeaked in protest, and she tried to pull her hands away from Spike's now well endowed chest. She tugged on her hand when the vampire trapped it against her body.

"Stop struggling, Slayer," Spike whispered. "Angelus is watching. Haven't seen him that bug-eyed since Darla brought home that Oippo demon."

"Oippo demon?" Buffy whimpered when Spike dragged his blunt teeth down her neck to her collarbone.

"Yeah, Oippo means big-dicked in Oppionese." Spike lapped his way back up the Slayer's neck to her earlobe, which he nipped. "Go talk to Deke. Then, we'll show Angel a good time."

"Perv," Buffy said without heat. She got up to go to the bar where she looked the bartender over, but she figured he was human since he didn't cause her Slayer senses to get itchy. "I assume you're Deke?"

"Yeah, what can I do for you?" Deke asked. He had seen the cute little blond chatting up Spike a few minutes before.

"First, I need a new Diet Coke," Buffy answered. She grabbed a pen and napkin from the bar, and she wrote a phone number down. "Second, this is my phone number. _Willamina_ never would have gotten it dressed any other way."

"How do I know it's a real number?" Deke eyed the girl suspiciously. He had observed the interaction with the petite blond girl and his cross-dressed boss.

"Call and ask whoever answers if Buffy's home. I'll wait." Buffy turned around to wave at Spike. She noticed that Cordelia and Doyle had finished their dance.

Deke dialed the number. When he asked about Buffy, the teenager on the other end asked if he was that idiot Parker, and then she blew a whistle in his ear. He dropped the reciever back into its cradle while he rubbed his ringing ear. Deke grabbed a Diet Coke before he turned back to Buffy. 

"So, that good enough for you?"

"How do I know you're into men?" Deke didn't want Spike to win the bet. He was sure the vampire wouldn't be able to convince a heterosexual woman to give out her phone number, not while he was dressed as a woman. Besides, it was a matter of pride.

"Here comes my friend, Cordy. You can ask her." Buffy noticed the approach of the statuesque brunette woman. She grabbed the other female's hand. "Tell Deke here that I like guys."

Cordelia raised an eyebrow at the request. It was strange, but then again Buffy was strange. She shrugged her shoulders, and she answered. "Buffy only dates guys that I've ever seen. Can't say much for her taste though."

"Thanks, Cordy. You're a real jewel." Buffy grabbed her new drink off the bar. "I'm gonna go get Willamina and join you back at the table."

Cordelia watched Buffy weave her way back to the other blond woman. They argued for all of sixty seconds before Buffy dragged Willamina to the table where Angel, Kate and Doyle were sitting. Cordelia made her order quickly, not wanting to miss the show. Whatever was about to happen, she had no doubt it would be at the very least entertaining.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Willamina, this is Angel, his girlfriend Kate, and Angel's friend Doyle." Buffy made the introductions. "Everyone, this is Willamina. I'm so happy I ran into her tonight." She grinned brightly.

"Why is that?" Cordelia asked. She approached the two blonds from behind, and she slipped into her chair beside Doyle.

"Oh, Will, this is Cordy. We went to high school in Sunnydale." Buffy smiled sweetly at Willamina.

"Pleased to meet you," Spike said in a feminine, Americanized voice.

"Well, I thought Will was still in a long term relationship." Buffy sat down in her chair. She pulled Spike down into the seat next to her. "I just found out that isn't true anymore. It's down the drain for good this time. So, I knew this was my chance." Buffy leaned against Spike's shoulder, and she caressed his arm.

"What?" Angel's eyes were starting to bug-out permanently. "Buffy, were you slipped a Mickey?"

"I would never." Spike touched his chest with one hand. "My goodness, Buffy, how do you live with such accusations?"

"Don't listen to him, Willamina." Buffy took Spike's hand in hers, and she petted it gently. "I know you'd never drug me. It's just not your style. You've always been honest about your intentions for me from the start. He's just upset because he's my ex-boyfriend."

"Really?" Kate cleared her throat. "He never said." She turned a curious look at Angel. When she was told that he wanted to meet some of his friends, he said nothing about one of them being his ex-girlfriend.

"Oh, yes, we had a three year relationship that ended in much badness," Buffy chirped. "But now I've found my Willamina again. There was always quite a spark between us when we were in the same room." She fluttered her eyelashes at Spike.

Spike mentally smirked at the reactions from both Angelus and the cheerleader. The girl bobby was more upset about finding out Buffy's ex-girlfriend status than the fact that the Slayer was now apparently into chicks. This was so bloody hilarious that Spike wished he could take pictures. Of course, the proximity of the Slayer was playing havoc on his senses, and not just the demonic part of him either. 

"Buffy," Angel huffed. "This is not the place to go into that." He sulked lower in his chair.

"My sweet, little Buffy," Spike cooed and trailed a fingertip down Buffy's cheek and jawline. "We're both finally free to pursue each other. I've wanted you ever since I saw you that first night on the dance floor." He wondered briefly what the Slayer would think if she knew the nasty, dirty things he had wanted to do to her body from that first night. None of which included death and destruction.

"I thought it was in the alley?" Buffy blinked in surprise. She tilted her head slightly to the right to look at him with a show of curiosity

"No, my littlest darling sweet meat. That was just a ploy to get you alone." Spike shivered at the mere thought of how lithe and sultry Buffy looked on the dance floor of the Bronze when he first saw her. The memory of that night provided definite wanking material on many a lonely night.

Angel made a strangled sound deep in his chest. He had left Buffy so she could have a normal life with children and a white picket fence. He had left everything he cared for the most behind so that she could fulfill this dream. Angel didn't even think about how hypocritical his thoughts were. He just blurted out, "What about children?"

"That's the great thing about modern medicine," Spike said. "My sweetling here can go get herself artificially inseminated. Maybe that whelp of hers might even donate for her." He had no interest in Xander donating anything of the kind to Buffy, but he knew the statement would rankle Angel the most.

"What?" Angel jumped to his feet. His chair crashed to the floor behind him. "That is just not right. Buffy, how could you possibly think about doing such a thing?"

"Angel," Doyle interrupted. "Come on, man. Our contact is here and we can't blow him off." He got up out of his seat, grabbed the vampire by the arm, and dragged Angel away.

Buffy covered her mouth with her hand to keep the laughter from bubbling out verbally. She knew how possessive Spike was over Dru. She doubted that he'd let anything of Xander's within fifty feet of her, but Angel's reaction was priceless.

The table was quiet for a moment before a commotion at the bar caught Spike's attention. He leaned down, and he said softly in his regular rough accent, "Be right back, Slayer." Then, he got up to stroll sexily towards Deke.

Buffy watched the vampire while he strutted away. She had to admit his ass looked pretty biteable. _Damn him for being so friggin' hot._ She turned to Cordelia, and she hissed, "If I knew that was what was under that damned duster, I would have ignored that first death threat and kissed my virginity good-bye."

Cordelia had heard _Willamina's_ words, and she instantly placed the accent. She raised an eyebrow. "The alley behind the Bronze isn't all that romantic, Buff."

"Alley?" Buffy snorted. "Hell, I would have kicked you and Willow out of your closet and spent the night praying not to be saved."

"You little slut," Cordelia replied with admiration.

"Is there something I should know?" Kate asked. She eyed the other women, who giggled wildly at her words. She hadn't seen Angel get this upset since she first met him.

"Willamina isn't exactly female," Buffy laughed.

"Willamina isn't exactly human," Cordelia said at the same time.

"Angel doesn't even have a clue, does he?" Buffy asked.

"Nope," Cordelia answered. "And I for one, can't wait to see his face when he finds out. You know how much Spike irritates him."

"Well, I'm not ready to tell, and I know Willamina won't be either," Buffy said.

"What is going on?" Kate looked from Buffy to Cordelia. "I promise I won't tell. I mean, he's obviously kept some secrets from me. It's time for some payback. Now spill!"

"Think we can trust her?" Buffy asked Cordelia.

"Sure, I think so," Cordelia replied. "Angel wouldn't let me tell her that you were his ex. So, you two can have a little vengeance."

"Anya will be so proud," Buffy said sarcastically. She turned to Kate. "Willamina is really Spike, or William the Bloody. He's Angel's Grandchilde."

Kate's eyes swung away from Buffy to where Spike was still talking to the bouncers. "Grandchilde? That's some kinda vampire thing, isn't it?"

"Yep. Angelus sired Drusilla. Then, Drusilla sired Spike." Cordelia took a sip of her drink. "So, he's the equivalent of Angel's grandson."

"You guys know Spike because...?"

"He took Sunnydale by storm a couple of years ago." Buffy rolled her eyes. "I can't believe my mom likes him. She still talks about him and his last visit."

"Does he have a soul, too?" Kate returned her attention to Buffy and Cordelia.

"Oh no!" Buffy put her hands up in protest. "He's totally, 100% evil vampire and proud of it."

"At least he's not all weepy anymore," Cordelia grinned. "Nothing more pathetic than a lovesick vampire."

"Yeah, he said he had too much dignity to crawl back to her," Buffy said. "So, how do you ladies like his club?"

"This is Spike's!" Cordelia chortled as the realization dawned on her why Spike would be talking to the bouncers. She couldn't wait for Angel to find out that the most popular demon nightclub belonged to the blond vampire. "It's nicer than Willie's."

"Anything's nicer than Willie's," Spike interrupted. He sat down in the chair next to Buffy as gracefully as he could wearing a skirt.

"Willamina, long time, no see," Cordelia smirked. "You owe me a new outfit!"

"I what?" Spike quirked a brow upward.

"Yeah, when you locked Willow and Xander up in that burned out factory of yours, Oz and I caught them kissing. I fell and got impaled on some rebar. You owe me an outfit."

Spike rolled his eyes before he turned his attention to Buffy. "I suppose you're expectin' me to buy the cheerleader here some frillies, aren't you?"

"Yep, it buys her co-operation in our little scheme to pull one over on Angel," Buffy informed the blond vampire.

"Fine. Buy yourself an outfit, girl. Send the bill to the office here."

"Thanks, Willamina." Buffy landed a kiss on Spike's lips, just in time for Angel to see from across the room.

"What about me?" Kate protested.

"Suppose you want some togs, too, bobby?"

"Bobby?" Kate looked confused. "I notice you call everyone by nicknames, but Bobby? That's a boy's name. Oh, and, yes, I'll take a bribe, too."

"Or by their titles," Buffy said. "He calls me Slayer all the time. I do know that bobby is Brit speak for police. Giles explained it to me."

"How is the Watcher these days?"

"Fired."

"What?"

"Yeah, after the 'make Buffy weak and dead' thing on my eighteenth birthday, the council fired him." Buffy rolled her eyes. 

"He actually went through with that stupid ritual?" Spike growled. He never would have pegged Giles for something like that.

"Sort of yes and no. He tried to stop it. That's when he got fired." Buffy sighed. "Then, I blew up the high school on graduation day. The library kinda went boom. So, no more need for a librarian either."

"Heard about that one, Slayer." Spike gave her a thumbs up. "Here comes Peaches and the half-demon."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hello, Angel," the three real girls at the table said to the approaching vampire.

"What's going on?" Angel asked suspiciously. He watched while Buffy scooted her chair even closer to Willamina, and she curled her hand around the blond woman's bicep. _Is Willamina a bodybuilder?_ The vampire asked himself. _Her arms are pretty muscular._

"Willamina just offered to take Cordy and Kate shopping," Buffy announced. "She's gonna drive me back to Sunnydale tomorrow."

"I am?" Spike turned to look at Buffy when she laid her head on his shoulder. "You are serious about us, luv?" He felt his heart lurch inside his chest at the sight of her sparkling green eyes. The question hung in the air, important in more ways than one to Spike.

"Yep." Buffy felt her heart lurch, not for the first time either, at the sight of Spike's amused blue eyes. "I'm completely serious. Mom would love to see you. She talks about you all the time."

"Bet Dawnie's grown up a bunch," Spike said.

"Oh, you wouldn't believe it. She's thirteen now, you know," Buffy replied. "She's nagging Mom about make-up."

"Maybe Will here could show her how to put it on," Cordelia grinned broadly while she teased. " _She_ looks good.

"I agree. Will does seem to have a handle on the art of make-up application." Kate smirked.

"Be nice, ladies. I think Will is absolutely perfect in every way, every incarnation." Buffy reached up to cover Spike's lips with her own. She was pleased when he leaned in a little closer to cup her cheek with his hand. Off to her side, she heard Cordelia and Kate snort when Angel made a sound like he had swallowed his tongue.

"You okay?" Doyle whacked his friend and employer on the back.

"Just fine, but I think I need to talk to Buffy alone," Angel choked out.

Buffy pulled away from Spike with a dazed look on her face. If she had known kissing him was this great she would have done it sooner. She wondered if he would be up to something more later. Something told her that he would show her just how true the vampire stamina myths were. At least, if he treated her like dirt the next morning, she could blame it on his evilness.

"Buffy!" Angel tried to get the Slayer's attention.

"I was wrong, Cordy." Buffy tried to get her breath back. "Alley would have been just perfect," she said dreamily.

"Slut," Cordelia snorted once again.

"You know." Buffy stroked Spike's arm. "We never did get our Saturday date you promised me, and I know you always keep your promises."

"We can go out next week, if you'd like." Spike inhaled deeply. His felt highly gratified by the smell of arousal pouring off the Slayer. There was no doubt that at least her body wanted his. "I promise I'll be a good girl."

"Mmmm, I'm sure you will be. Does that mean I'll be the bad girl?" Buffy licked her lips seductively letting the tip of her tongue trace the outside of Spike's lips.

"Buffy!!" Angel spoke the Slayer's name through gritted teeth. "Can we talk in private?" He didn't wait for an answer this time. He grabbed her arm, and he hauled her across the nightclub before she could react.

Spike and Cordelia cringed. Knowing Buffy as well as they did, they knew she didn't like to be manhandled. Kate and Doyle watched the couple across the nightclub with trepidation. Neither of them knew Buffy very well, having only met her a few days before, but they could tell she wasn't at all happy.

"Ten bucks says she goes for the nose," Spike whispered to Cordelia. He rubbed his own nose that had served as the Slayer's punching bag enough over the last couple of years.

"Twenty says she goes for the balls," Cordelia muttered back.

"Buffy, how could you?" Spike said in a false sotto voice. "I left you so you could find a normal guy. one without a co-dependency on hair gel like me."

"Spike," Cordelia giggled while she covered her mouth. She didn't even think about the fact that she was now sitting at the table with an evil vampire and no Slayer protection. The whole scene was a bit surreal to her.

The four watched while Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, and she tapped her foot as she waited for Angel to quit his finger shaking. Both Spike and Cordelia recognized the stony look that settled on the Slayer's face.

"She's not too happy, is she?" Doyle asked.

"Not really," Cordelia answered. "Hence the wild betting about bodily damage."

"She won't stake him, will she?" Kate asked, concern tinged her voice.

"Uh-oh." Spike heard enough of Angel's tirade to know the dark-haired vampire was in BIG trouble. He almost felt sorry for his grandsire. ALMOST. "She's brassed off now. Haven't seen her that mad since her sweetie bear got himself kidnapped."

Cordelia gave the blond vampire a pointed look. "That was your fault, remember?"

"Don't look at me like that, cheerleader," Spike muttered. "Watch the floorshow. Slayer's telling Peaches in great detail what she wants to do with my tight little bod."

"What?" Cordelia turned back to watch Buffy and Angel. "She's told already?"

"Nah, she's still telling him I'm a chick," Spike chuckled. He pointed at Angel. "Can't you see how he looks like he's goin' to be sick. That's not easy for a vampire to look that way."

"Huh?" Doyle stared at Spike and Cordelia. What was going on? He had advised Angel against inviting Buffy for a visit. Doyle knew from experience that a woman scorned was a powerful adversary. Then, add into the mix Willamina, and it was a recipe for disaster. There was just something about the woman that made Doyle want to scratch his head in puzzlement.

"Just sit there and be quiet, Doyle," Cordelia ordered. "Buffy's messing with Angel. He deserves it after neglecting to tell Kate about Buffy. Then, he has the audacity to invite Buffy here for a visit despite the whole stupid 'normal guy' thing." She did air quotes.

Doyle jumped when both Cordelia and Kate gave him evil glares. He decided that he would just sit back, shut up, and hope the females didn't sic the Slayer on him. Doyle was further mystified when Willamina gave him a lazy wink. His pondering caused him to miss the end of the confrontation across the room.

Buffy flounced back to the table where she sat down next to Spike. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before she coolly watched a bloody, hobbling Angel return to the table. It had taken the vampire a few minutes to regain his composure after finding himself on the receiving end of the Slayer's ire. It, also, appeared that both Spike and Cordelia won their bets.

"Buffy, you can't hit me and storm off," Angel admonished in his 'I'm suffering, please feel sorry for me' voice. "How am I going to help you solve your problem?"

"The only one with a problem is you, Angel," Buffy replied. "You seem to think it's fair for you to get a new relationship to rub my nose in after the ending of our... what did you call it? Yes, freak show, but it's not okay for me to have one."

"I don't have a problem with you having a new relationship. Quit putting words in my mouth," Angel growled. "It's just that I expected it be normal."

"So, you have a something against lesbians, then?" Buffy asked with indignation. "Well, I'll be sure to tell Willow and Tara how you feel about it."

Angel sank down into his chair. The conversation was not going the way he had expected. When had Buffy gotten so damned bitchy? He couldn't believe that no one else was siding with him. He glanced at Doyle, but for some reason the half-demon was keeping his lips zipped.

"You called your relationship a freak show?" Kate gave the vampire a stony look. "What does that mean exactly?" She grabbed the dark haired vampire by the ear, and she dragged him across the nightclub to the same spot he had occupied with the Slayer minutes earlier.

"Nose?" Spike asked.

"Balls!" Cordelia answered vehemently. She smirked when Doyle covered his own testicles with both hands.

"So what's up next on our fun date?" Buffy took a sip of her drink while she glanced around the nightclub.

"If it were anyone other than him, I'd say get him drunk and make him sing karaoke," Spike answered. "But he'd just make our eardrums bleed." He wrapped his arm around Buffy's shoulders.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Buffy noticed a familiar face in the nightclub crowd, and she nudged Cordelia in the side. The dark-haired girl instantly recognized Wesley. Neither female had heard neither hide nor hair from the ex-Watcher since just after the high school had blown up the previous spring. They waved at Wesley who blinked at them in surprise.

"Wow, Cordy. Wes is looking ruggedly handsome, isn't he?"

"Already found someone new?" Spike asked with exaggerated sadness. His lower lip stuck out in a pout.

"Not likely, baby!" Buffy cooed. She nipped Spike's earlobe sharply, and then she whispered in his ear, "I like my Englishmen to be of the non-Watcher-y, room temp kind."

"Hmm, naughty little Slayer," Spike whispered back. He put his hand on Buffy's knee, and he slowly dragged it up her leg. He was delighted when she shivered under his touch.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce approached the table. He recognized the Slayer and Cordelia Chase, but the other two were strangers. Wes looked over to where the group kept glancing, and he saw that Angel was on the receiving end of a dressing down by a very pretty blond woman.

"Hey, Wes, looking good," Buffy said. "You know Cordy, but that's Doyle and this is Willamina."

Wes' eyebrows shot up when Willamina emphasized the arm draped across Buffy's shoulders in an outright marking of territory. He had never realized that Buffy leaned in both directions, since she'd always been with Angel during the ex-Watcher's stay at Sunnydale. Wes chuckled to himself at how broody the whole situation must be making the dark-haired vampire.

"Hey, Wes." Cordelia smiled.

"Hello, Miss Summers and Miss Chase. What a pleasant surprise," Wes replied. He glanced around the club. "You wouldn't happen to have seen a Fyral demon, would you?"

"Those are the big, horny ones that don't speak English, right?" Buffy glanced around the club, too. She spotted a big, horned demon hiding out in the back, but when she pointed it out, both Spike and Wes shook their heads.

"Management doesn't allow Fyrals here," Spike announced. "Try looking at Caritis. Tell Lorne that Spike sent you." He gave the Slayer a lopsided grin. "If I find us some earplugs, you wanna join Tweedboy here at Caritis?"

"That's where you plan on getting Angel drunk and making him sing karaoke?" Buffy asked. 

"Yes, but this is a very special karaoke bar," Spike replied. "Lorne the Host can read destinies when he listens to a person sing."

"That sounds like fun," Cordelia said. She gave an evil little smirk. "Can we bribe that Lorne guy to tell Angel something totally outrageous as his destiny?"

"That can be arranged." Spike returned Cordelia's smirk with one of his own. He rose to his feet, and he helped Buffy rise to her own. "The Slayer and I'll go on ahead and set things up."

"You know that Buffy's the Slayer?" Wesley asked in astonishment. The night had gone from normal to bizarre very quickly for the tall, lean Brit. He had never expected to run into anyone from Sunnydale, but here they were anyway.

"Of course, Watcher," Spike replied. "Kinda hard to miss when that's why I met her in the first place. Let's go, luv." He paused long enough to tell Cordy and Doyle the other demon bar's address before he escorted a giggling Buffy out the front door.

Wesley nodded his farewell to Cordelia before he followed the two blonds out. His Watcher instincts told him that there was something going on that he wasn't privvy to. Once outside, he realized that Willamina's voice had changed from a feminine, American accent to a masculine, British accent. For a moment Wesley thought that maybe Buffy had fallen into a trap, but he quickly noticed that the Slayer seemed to be well acquainted with her companion.

Within a few minutes, Kate stormed back to the table followed by a disgruntled Angel. She stiffly lowered herself into her seat while she ignored the dark-haired vampire's mumbled apologies. Kate glanced around before she spoke to Cordelia, "Where's Willamina and Buffy?"

"They went ahead to another demon bar," Doyle said softly. He had been very quiet up to this point as he had taken the time to study the other people in the group. He knew that Cordelia didn't get along too well with the Slayer, but he knew that she hadn't been too pleased when Angel unthinkingly rubbed his new relationship in the blond girl's face. When Doyle had first met the ex-Sunnydale resident, he had thought she was just an air headed, actress wanna be. He knew better now. She had an inner fire and drive that could sometimes be both scary and incredibly alluring at the same time.

"Why did they do that?" Angel asked grumpily. He had no clue why Buffy was so upset about his new girlfriend. He thought Kate had been polite and generous to the Slayer. The dark-haired vampire wondered what had pushed the blond from dating boys to dating girls.

"Wesley was looking for some Fyral demons, and Will said he could find them there," Cordelia replied airily. "I think Kate would love to go to the next bar. She can sing for the guy in charge, and he'll tell her if she's destined to be with you forever, Mr. Broody Pants."

"Sounds like fun." Kate rose to her feet. "Maybe we can find out if Angel's destined to be an ass the rest of his unlife." She was still mad at her boyfriend for his negligent treatment of the females that surrounded him, including his ex-girlfriend. She knew she should be jealous of Buffy's previous time with Angel, but she was still miffed that he had rubbed the other girl's face in his new relationship. Buffy had certainly handled the whole situation with more dignity than she herself probably would have.

"Let's go, Doyle," Cordelia ordered as she rose to her feet. She grabbed her purse from the table. When the half-demon didn't jump to his feet fast enough, the dark-haired woman snapped her fingers at him.

Doyle reluctantly got to his feet. He wondered briefly if he could fake a vision, making it possible for Angel and him to go on some wild goose chase rather than follow the Slayer and her strange new girlfriend across town to another demon bar. However, he knew that Cordelia, and her uncanny ability to see through his _and Angel's_ bull, wouldn't allow such an event to happen.

Cordelia and Kate left the nightclub arm in arm, trailed by two reluctant males.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An hour later, Angel was on stage singing his rendition of Minnie Ripperton's 'Loving You'.* Thankfully, Spike had scrounged up earplugs for the group, but they each could see the other demons in the bar wincing in pain. Even Lorne, the demonic host of the bar, cringed and turned several shades greener at the vampire's warbling. 

Lorne waited for Angel to take his seat beside Kate before he launched into what he had seen when the members of the group were singing. "Willa.." the green-skinned demon cleared his throat after stumbling over Spike's pretend name. "Willamina, darling, you never told me you knew such interesting people."

"You never asked, you beast you," Spike simpered in his fake feminine accent. "Would you have believed me?" His eyes wandered over everyone sitting at the table. He wouldn't have believed it himself if someone told him he'd be having a grand time with the Slayer and her companions.

Lorne raised an eyebrow before he gave the blond vampire a lopsided smirk. With a slight nod of his head, he turned his attention towards Buffy, "Now, sugarplum, I don't need to tell you your destiny. You're living it large. If you let this perky love muffin..." He reached past the Slayer to pinch Spike on the cheek. "...into your life, everything should be hunky dory."

"What?" Angel barked. He knew coming to this bar was a bad, bad idea. First, Buffy picked up some woman at the other bar, and now some damned demon was telling her that she was destined to be with said woman. "She's supposed to have a normal life!"

"Normal, schmormal," Lorne said, waving his hand in the air. "Life's what you make of it. However you, my little _Peach_ pie, you're making enemies in high places. Naughty, naughty."

Angel gave Lorne a strange look when the demon emphasized the word 'peach', but he didn't say anything aloud. Instead of seeing what was right under his nose, he turned his search for an answer internally. The only answer he could come up with was that a drunken Spike had passed through the bar either on his way to Sunnydale or on his return to Drusilla. Angel shrugged the thought of his grandchilde away before he returned to figuring out how to make Buffy realize her mistake.

"Something's coming for you, dear boy," the Host continued quietly. "Something that will rock the foundations of your life. Be prepared." Then, Lorne got a smirk on his face. "I must also say, lay off the hair gel before it makes you bald, and beware of midgets bearing gifts."

Angel sniffed in disdain at the green-skinned demon's predictions. It was obvious to him that Lorne was delusional. He listened to the rest of the demon's observations with a jaundiced ear. He seethed when Buffy giggled after Willamina whispered something in her ear, and he didn't even notice when Kate shot him a scathing glare. Angel was so wrapped up in other things, he didn't notice when Lorne took Kate aside for some much needed advice. He brooded heavily while Buffy, Cordelia, and Kate made plans to meet up the next day for some shopping goodness. He growled with displeasure when he caught a glimpse of Buffy leaving in the arms of Willamina.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
*Loving you  
Is easy because you're beautiful....  
Making love with you  
Is all I want to do....  
Loving you  
Is more than just a dream come true....  
And everything that I do  
Is out of loving you....

No one else can make me feel  
The colors that you bring....  
Stay with me while we grow old....  
And we will live each day in spring time....

Because loving you....  
Has made my life so beautiful....  
And every day of my life  
Is filled with loving you....  
Loving you....  
I see your soul come shining through....  
And everytime that we....  
Oh I'm more in love with you....


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Angel gave an indignant sigh. Cordelia, Kate, and Buffy had been modeling the clothes they had each bought the day before in the whirlwind shopping spree with Willamina. He knew that the blond had bought each woman an outfit. Very sexy outfits by the look of it, but he wondered where the others came from. It would be several days before the bill came in the mail to his office.

"So, Lorne told you the perfect way to make Angel behave, huh?" Buffy asked Kate while she changed back into her 'going home' clothes. She glanced to the lady cop as she packed the rest of her things into her overnight bag.

"Yes, he did," Kate said smugly. "I still can't believe that Angel doesn't see why inviting you to meet me was very wrong and very cruel, Buffy."

"He's a guy. What do you expect?" Cordelia replied informatively. "I mean really. He's as old as dirt, and he still doesn't have a clue about women."

"Well, does any man really have a clue about women?" Buffy asked while she zipped her bag closed.

"Spike seems to," Cordelia answered. "Then again, he spent a century making that crazy ho Drusilla happy." She shrugged her shoulders in a vague fashion.

"Is this the relationship you said had finally gone south?" Kate asked with genuine interest. "I still don't understand all this siring stuff."

"Yes, that's the relationship I meant," Buffy replied with a sigh before she launched into her explanation. "The siring stuff's pretty easy. A vampire drains its victim of blood. Then, just before the victim dies, the vamp forces him or her to drink its blood. The victim wakes up undead and a vampire. The more blood given, the more childe-like the new vamp is."

"Child-like? Somehow I don't think you mean like a kid." Kate shook her head. The whole vampire thing was confusing to the blond policewoman.

"No, not really," Buffy said. She gave a wary chuckle. "Most vamps I slay are basically minions, but there are some that are stronger, harder to kill. They are ones like Spike who were chosen to be companions. As you can see, they are much more adept at playing human and controlling the bloodlust."

"Ah. I see." Kate nodded in understanding. "So, back to my revenge on Angel. Will you ladies help me?"

"If you tell us what it is," Cordelia commented. She had her own new found knowledge she had to process. Cordelia had known from the very first time she'd met Doyle that he was interested in her, but she hadn't realized how closely tied together their destinies were until Lorne had spoken to her. Somewhere along the line something had changed, and Lorne had assured Cordelia that he'd look into it for her.

"Well," Kate's voice dropped to a whisper. "I snuck super duper, extra strong Nair into his hair gel the other night and I hired a midget to deliver him a present today."

"But that's what..." Buffy started to say, but she trailed off when she saw the evil smirk on Kate's face. "Okay, that's just evil."

"Well, he needs to learn to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth," Kate replied. 

Downstairs in the Hyperion lobby, Angel sat at the front desk manning the phones. As he thought about how to present one last argument to Buffy about her dating another female, he rubbed his thick, dark hair. The harder he thought, the harder he rubbed his hair. In a few moments, Angel realized that his hand felt odd. He pulled his hand away from his head, and he let out a disgruntled hiss when he realized his hand was full of hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike stepped out of his Desoto, and he looked up at the imposing facade of his grandsire's abode. He always knew Angelus liked the fancy front, case in point, the Crawford mansion back in Sunnydale. However, the blond vampire had assumed that poofter's poncy soul was too into self-flagellation to go for the nicer things in life.

Spike settled a smirk on his lean face before he crossed the courtyard to enter the front door of the hotel. He knew this was going to be fun. Spike swaggered into the lobby of Angel's hotel, and he stood quietly chuckling at the unhappy brunette vampire. Although, brunette wasn't totally true anymore, since Angel looked like he had mange. There were several bald spots on vampire's head.

"Yo, Peaches, havin' some kind of problems?" Spike called out. He knew that Kate was going to use his ideas for her revenge. He just wished he could be there when the midget showed up.

"Spike, what are you doing here?" Angel growled. _Just what I need right about now._

"Spike!" Buffy's voice echoed through the lobby. "What the hell are you doing here?" She gave a little smirk, knowing full well that Angel was still in the dark about Willamina's true identity.

"That's for me to know, and you to find out, Slayer," Spike snarked in return. ""Sides, I heard around town that Angelus' dependency on hair gel was about to catch up with him."

"What?" Angel bellowed. "Where did you hear that?"

"Yeah, and I search for a midget to give you some garlic laced holy water, but figured I'd come harass you in person instead." Spike turned slightly to wink at Buffy, Cordelia, and Kate, who were walking down the stairs. "If I'd know the Slayer was here, I would have gotten here sooner."

"You will leave Buffy alone," Angel grumbled. "Bad enough she's dating women now. She doesn't need you hitting on her too. I just wanted her to have the normal life she wanted."

"Been there, tried that, Angel." Buffy stepped off the bottom step of the stairs. She casually handed her bag over to Spike. "I have to say it wasn't all that much fun."

"You ready to head out, luv?" Spike asked. He gave a sideways glance at Angel. "Your chariot awaits."

"I-I thought Willamina was driving you home," Angel blustered. He didn't like the idea, but it certainly was a better than letting Buffy ride home with Spike.

Buffy shooed Spike out the front door before he was able to say anything. She wanted to make her last little comment with a clean getaway. Buffy turned to Angel, gave a big, wide, innocent smile before she dropped her bombshell. "Oh, Willamina is driving me home, Angel. If you had been on the ball, you would have recognized 'her'. After all, you claimed to know all there was about 'her' back in Sunnydale. Well, toodles." She waved before making her quick exit.

"What?" Angel asked in a confused voice. "What the heck did all that mean?" He would have scratched his head, but he was worried more of his hair would fall out in his hand.

"Let me say this slowly and clearly." Cordelia slowed her words down and enunciated them clearly. "Willamina and Spike are the same person."

"What?" Angel shook his head. "No, no. Buffy wouldn't do that. Not sweet, innocent Buffy."

"The Nile is deep this year," Kate whispered to Cordelia.

"Isn't it though," Cordelia replied in return. She was interrupted when a very, very short man carrying a big package entered the hotel door.

"Hello," the midget said. "I have a present here for an Angel Peach. I need someone to sign for it."

"That's Angel," Kate said. She hid a giggle behind her hand at the look of absolute terror on the vampire's face.

Cordelia started to laugh when the dark-haired vampire backed away from the short man. She shook her head while she chortled, "One-quarter of the Scourge of Europe, and he's terrified of the vertically challenged."

The End


End file.
